Will you marry a househusband ?

It can be repugnant to some but others may not have the luxury to choose. It is either that or remain single for all their life.

Women have been conditioned in their upbringings to look for a stronger all round partner . Either the men were higher than them or equal on the same footings.Anything less would be unsatisfactory.

When you mentioned a househusband , you would imagine a man donning an apron and doing the housework or taking up a woman's role in the house.A role reversal scenario.

Now that women are fully in the work force and some women maybe earning more than the men,the question begets most minds is whether a man can be adept at house chores and baby care givings as well as a woman.

This preposition was unthinkable several years ago.Women have made much stride into the man’s world and the man’s world are reeling under the onslaught of this female power.

There may come a day in the not too distant future that women would hold all the executive and top post and men would just be delegated to the heavy menial tasked or made redundant or irrelevant.I shudder ,for such reality is not impossible.

Would you marry a woman who would one day after you have kids ,asked you to quit your lower paying job immediately and she would take care and provide everything for you .Would you as a man agree to this preposition?

I think no sane thinking man would want to quit his job and depend fully on the woman for every of his needs .There could be exceptions, maybe they are disabled or mentally handicapped.

In the older generations , it was a shame to be a ˜consort' to the woman.The man will have no face or honour.In the present era, it is no more a shame but such marriages can faced tremendous pressures both inside and outside.It challenges the norms and concepts of a family hierarchy in today’s world.

There comes a time when the marriage comes to a watershed, when they have babies and when one has to quit their job to looked after the baby and home.Who will have to quit?

Usually it is the woman who has a lower paying job than the man. She is the natural choice. However, the tables have changed and it is the men who may have to quit to maintain their same standards of living.

There are situations when the woman earns more than him and he may have to be sacrificed.This will also depends if the man have the aptitude or whether he can do a woman's job. If he cannot , then he will make a mess out of it .Not all man are equal to the job.Some are just not fit for the job.

Some women are dominant partners and want a man but they want their men to be under their controls.These men are passive and goes along with their wives. Most probably these men comes from a dominant mother family and so they don't mind .

In a marriage , either one could be dominant . If you are a man , it would be better you become the dominant partner than to be dominated.

A woman looks up to a strong man.She would want to marry a man who is stronger than her .She is conditioned in that way.I hoped the world,one day in the future, would not come to the situations like those of the Amazon women warriors who ruled over men..

Whether you liked it or not, women has come to the world’s stage and they are flexing their muscles and new found freedom which their sisters in the last generations were denied.

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The demise of the traditional women and the new role of the modern women.

The traditional women is slowly going into extinction except in some pockets of this world where it is untouched by civilization.

There are some women who can alternate from the traditional woman to the modern woman whenever they want to win in any disputes with her man. She wants the best of both worlds.

I believed it is difficult to find a traditional woman in the present world anymore. One who would go through all those traditional rites of marriage and follow it's precepts.

With the increasing globalization and the opening of more opportunities for women ,the marriage concept has to be redefined as a partnership of equals as viewed through a woman's eyes. Gone are those days when marriage is about total submission to the man .


It used to be him earning and be the sole bread winner while she takes care of the family.This was the traditional concept of the gender roles in a society. But the wheels are slowly turning on man and there are now ,more women working and in some cases are earning more than the man. More than 40 % of married women in the UK are making more than their husbands.

With the added freedom of woman's rights,the women are beginning to challenge the traditional gender roles and the ideas related to marriage which were decided for them by the patriarchal society .

Men will have to get used to the idea that women are a potent force and are here to stay .They can no longer follow their parents examples who are more traditionalist. They will have to make some readjustments in their life and outlook or to go separate ways.

There should not be any unilateral actions but must involve a consensus between them for a peaceful ,good and lasting marriage.

How would they cope and what are their problems they faced?

The man do not have a choice , their wives are better and more brilliant than them . They will have to give their full support and co-operations to their partners.

As the women become more active , he would have to be passive for if both are very active in their own fields like those Hollywood film stars , there would be tremendous strains on the relationship.

Even if she makes more than him , a man still expects his wife to play the traditional role of a wife , mother and house keeper .It is her domains. This explains why most of the men would rather prefer to marry a beta female than an alpha female.

Perhaps, it is the women who have too high expectations of everything in the marriage. Women have a certain standards about everything that must be done according to their ways and many men may not meet those high standards.

It is a matter of perceptions and women are quite meticulous with small things around the house.Most women generally are not satisfied with the way men do things around them and they will do it themselves.

She becomes the wife , mother and bread winner and still have to do some of the house hold chores even when they have servants .She may have to supervise the servants and cannot depend solely on the man.

She works really hard and earn lots of money but have to be very careful about not offending the male's ego.The man’s fragile ego’s may take a bashing as in some society, it can be a loss of face .It is still a man’s world on the outside.

She cannot proudly boast about her incomes and must still submit to her husband.There will be a war of the sexes and usually whoever earns more will come out the victorious and dominant partner and the other will have to surrender under her terms.

Some men may not speak about it but deep down they are apprehensive that their wives are working in the office and are afraid of those office vultures that may prey on her.

Wives who make more money may not have the time for their man and some of the men may keep mistress or have affairs due to her neglect of him.

There are other men who do not mind their wives earning more than them . They may become househusbands or a consort to her.He will be his bodyguard, driver, secretary and her toy boy. It is his good fortune to find such a woman.

credit and thanks to:-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=416697&in_page_id=1879

suggested reading Earn more than your man? 5 relationship tips

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/21069775/

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The road to matrimony and the potholes to avoid.

All roads lead to Rome but the wise will travel by the straight road or super highway as the bird flies rather than chose the long and winding road that leads to nowhere.

I don't think any girl would want to end up single if they can find the man of their dreams. Only those who cannot find their dream man would boast that single life is much better than being married.

Either way, right or wrong ,the women always win in the end .Which ever side she stands on , she will will say the right things to placate and soothe her soul.Women are their worst enemies.

Are you pushing 30's or 40's and still single?

Is time running out on your biological clock? You cannot for the life of you understands why you are still single , even though you have all the attributes of a beautiful and financially independent woman. All those qualities you think is desirable to attract men.

Read the tips given by this 40's women ,Shane Watson who gives a few good tips to race across the finish line in time.

You don't have to be a perfect '10' before you start to attract men.Don't be obsessed with your beauty so much that you become very vain and feel that some men may not matched your style or expectations.

You need to be yourself. When you feel yourself as being very beautiful , you tend to sell yourself to the highest bidder .When a women is young , she has a lot of capital and can afford to wait for the best man .She will wait and wait till she finds that all the best man has slipped through her and then she will lower her expectations as her age rises..

The one thing women can turn off men is their loose talk about what they are looking for in a man. Every single women has a shopping list for a man . You would let the man know what you like and dislike about the qualities you find in a man.

When a man who could be interested in you learns of your don't like list, it immediately puts them off chasing after you. It is like pouring cold water over them.

The thought of wanting to chase you becomes still born..Sometimes girls don't realize that. The girls are only joking but the man do take it seriously.

Imagine a scene where this man is secretly interested in a woman friend and then this woman blurted out in jest that she is looking for a very rich man as a husband .

WHAM! This man quickly retreats and forgets her. There goes her potential husband. This can backfire on her when he goes around to inform his friends about you as a gold digger.

You don't really meant what you said but the harm has been done and you are not even aware of the results of that joke. When it come to marriage and men , it is best not to disclose your list to any man friends. Just keep to yourself. Anyway, those in the list can change if you find the other good points about him.

Are you perfect?

No one is perfect and you are expecting to find a perfect husband. It is like groping for a needle in a haystack . If there is a near perfect man, you would not stand a chance as there will be other more beautiful and sexier woman available competing for him.

Do something differently for a change. Get a new make over and people will get to notice you .

If you are the 1990's model, then don't expect many to be interested. Try new things or go to different places for a change and not keep to the same routine every day and night for umpteen years. If you always swim in the same pond, then you only attract those same old boring fishes.

You may have to make new friends as your old friends who knows everything about you can be a dampener or can cramped your new style. What you do would be a secret as your friends wont know. You become free of their clutches.

You don't have to behave well in front of your friends for you can flirt outrageously with men. Flirting is a game. It can titillate your senses and it is much fun.

Pick one with the potential and then package them they way you want and DON’T expect them to arrive on your door steps in a perfect little package with a red ribbon.'

All men are like rough diamonds when you meet them . It is only when you get married to them that they become polished and shining like a real diamond. You have to polished them till they shine for you. That is why experienced men or married man have certain appeals.

Happy husband hunting !

Reference and thanks to :-

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article2019863.ece

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To live happily ever after....

According to the Chinese tradition, a man or a woman who is unmarried is considered a child even if s/he grows old. It is quite true because s/he does not know and understand what is the responsibility of a parent and will be less matured than a married man/woman

A guy will have no worries before marriage but after marriage, their worries will start and they become matured in their thinking's.While the woman worries about finding the right husband before marriage. This is an irony of life.

If you want to make your marriage like a fairy tale and live happily ever after, you will have to do certain things to turn her into a beautiful princess.

Make a spell and cast on her and turn her into a Stepford wife. Give her a big diamond as a surprise if you are loaded . If not ,go to the bazaar to buy her a cheap imitation Russian diamond.

So your ultra modern wife thinks this submissive thing is outdated and wants equality . If you want her to listen to you ,it is not difficult.

Love her to the hilt and she will surrender all to you.Woman are like that , they need to be conquered. You will become her boss or King and she will be like the sweet kitten .

After you have stolen her heart for safe keeping , you must take very good care of it. You need to respect her and always asked for her opinions first to make her feel like a V V I P.

If her views or plans are wiser than yours, you must shower her with lots of affections and praised her sky high.
Then she will feel more appreciated , understood, valued and smarter than you.

Then she will love you more and more. You must be wise enough and willing to seek Her Majesty's counsel .

Be more observant of your surroundings or your wife's appearances. Use your eyes to the fullest.Have a photographic memory before and after you left for work and when you come back from work.

Detect any new changes in your home or in her. You must be like Sherlock Holmes ,use a magnifying glass to detect the clues and evidence in your home.

If you see any changes in her or the house give your positive feed backs. Turn on your positive mind even if you don't like what you see.It is not what you like or don't like but what she likes and you pander to her.You must be of the same mind as hers.

Little things mean a lot to your wife. You showed that you still have much interest in her and your acknowledgment is very important to her mental health.

She feeds on those great comments which will make her day. You should realize that it will score a lot of Brownie points with her and at night , she will repay you back with interest.

If she cooked your favourite dish or tried something new , don't take her for granted, thank her and give biggie smiles. Thanks may not be enough ,if you don't smile and show all your crooked teeth.

If she bought a new dress, new perfume or new hairstyle and looks good or smells good,compliment her .She did it all for you and you should learn to appreciate her more.

Don't gripe about the cost to her or show you Ebeneezer face.Make sure she got available funds in her credit cards.Bite your tongue and howl in pain when she is only out of your sights and mind.

No matter how small an item may be to you, it may be very important to your wife that you notice and validate what she has done.

Don't underestimate the importance of those little ,little words of encouragements and praises.It means a lot to her.She will love you more for it.Don't just focus on yourself or your job. Leave your job in the office and concentrate on her when you are at home.

Just open your mouth a little and oil that tongue of yours .Don't forget to mention those golden three little words here and then and see with your eyes and it wont cost you a dime but the results is well worth the small efforts you put into those little words.

Don't just know how to eat and drink only.Your mother did not teach you how to say 'Thank you.'Surprise her with small presents or things which she like's ,to show your appreciations of what she has done for you.This shows that you really care and love her from head to toe.

A beautiful woman if wrongly treated in a marriage can look old and sad while a normal Jane can look like a princess beaming with joy and inner beauty if she is well treated .

If you can do all that , you will live happily ever after and if you failed, you will be turned into a toad.

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The Christian marriage.

1 Peter 3:1 - 7

Wives and husbands..

This chapter deals about the biblical concept of how wives and husbands should treat each other.

3:1 Wives fit in with your husbands plans, for then if they refuse to listen when you talk to them about the Lord, they will be won by your respectful, pure behaviour. Your Godly lives will speak better to them than any words.

There are Christians who are married to non Christians. The non Christian and the children are sanctified through the Christian spouse.It is not easy to try to convince the non Christian spouse about the Lord.Don't waste your energy if he is the type that will tear everything you put up.His time is not up yet.

Rather, just show your Christian love for him.He can see the difference why a Christian behaved differently from a non Christian.Some people don't see any difference because, some people are just Christians in name sake only.

Usually , when a man becomes a Christian , he will bring the whole family along .But if it is a woman , it is usually she alone who would come to church.

Wives need not preach to their husbands about Christianity but to live an exemplary life that would please their husbands Praying for the husbands salvation and that he will become a Christian .

God asked us to go out and evangelize but not everyone has the gifts. Just leave it to God and His timing .

3:3 Don't be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on jewelry or beautiful clothes,or hair arrangements

3:4 Be beautiful inside your hearts with the lasting charm of a gentle and quiet spirit which is so precious to God.

When you become a Christian , you are transformed and you see things in a different perspective. Your changed life speaks louder and clearer than your river of words .

Peter instructed that Christian wives should develop their inner beauty rather than their outward appearance. You should not be obsessed with fashion.

This does not mean that you should completely ignore the outward appearance or unconcerned or bother to care . You need to present a neat, simple and beautiful appearance from the inner beauty that radiates from the inner you.

What is important is your attitude and spirit. Live your Christian faith quietly and consistently and your family will see the Christ in you.

3:7 You husbands must be careful of your wives, being thoughtful of their needs and honoring them as the weaker sex.. Remember you and your wife are partners in receiving God's blessings and if you don't treat her as you should ,your prayers will not get ready answers.

Husbands and wives submit to each other or ideally mutual submissions out of love for each other and for God. . Women are weak only physically and not intellectually .

Women need to be protected from physical attacks or family abuse.
A man who honours his wife will protect, respect , help and stay with her. He will not expect her to work full time outside and full time at home. He will lighten her load whenever possible, be sensitive to her needs, be courteous, considerate , insightful and tact.

If a man does not treat his wife kindly, his prayers become ineffective, because a right living relationship with God is based on a right living relationship with others.

Reference
Life Application Bible.

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Will you marry a younger man ?

In this age and time , it is not about one's age but about one's maturity and happiness quotient.If you are happy with a younger man and knows what you are getting into , what is there to prevent or obstruct you from enjoying your happiness ?

Many modern, successful and older women are having relationships with the younger men or their toyboys. These women are known as cougars in the West. The younger partners are more virile and greater looking .

Love is a many splendoured thing.When you are in love , everything is so beautiful.
It is a very passionate affair and the fire of love will consume you.You will perpetually be in a blissful state until the magic dust wears off.

There comes a time when you will have to decide to seal your love and you begin to looked deeply into his eyes and finally with one last look ,close your eyes and say I do. But before that , you wonder in the back of your mind if he is really the right one for you.

Would you accept and marry him ,if he is younger than you?

This is more of a poser for women only.Men marrying younger women is the norm.There are pro's and con's and if he has all those qualities you seek in him , there should not be a problem with his age.

You many think what happens when you are 60 or above and what will happen to him ?If you think this way about the future, you will never get married, for nobody knows what will happen in the future except God.

When you fell in love with him , you never really thought about the age difference.Initially, you could be hesitant to start a relationship but as time progresses and he has been quite persistent, you relented and got swept away by the torrents of love.

If your love for him is solid and firm, it does not matter if he is younger than you.Age is not a barrier.Some men can be more matured than others of their age.He could be ready for married life.

Women always want to look up to their men and so the men must be always stronger than them .They know they are the weaker sex and need a strong person so that they can lean upon their man when things don't work out.

This is the traditional thinking and with today's modern women earning a bigger pay cheque, they do not have to depend on the men for everything. She can call the shots .If she is not satisfied with her toyboy , she can go into the market to find another replacement.

There are some traditional women who will not marry men whom they feel are inferior to them.It would be below their dignity.

If you marry a younger and less experienced man , be prepared to teach him how to talk and how to love and treat a married woman,be prepared for heartbreaks too.Old, young or new, they still have to learn about pleasing a woman.

Theory is easy.It is difficult for a woman to tell what she wants in a marriage or what she wants from her man. Most she could do is only hint! hint !hint !

The men being so obtuse(stupid) would not get her message. The only way to get across the message to him is to say directly and bluntly to him and not to beat about the bush.Speak in plain simple English!

Just say.... I want you to....I like you to... etc..

Men are like rough diamonds or some lumps of clay before marriage and you will need to polish them into fine diamonds or mould them into a tea pot .

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Modern Day Marriage For Women Sucks!

Those on the outside wants to get in while those on the inside wants to get out.It is every girls wish to get married and start her own family but there is the dearth of available men and finding the right one is like looking for a needle in a haystack.

Some have given up all hope and concentrated on their careers until one day when they will discover that the world has moved on and did not wait for them.

If you are still single , take heart because there are more women remaining single than married.Eventually and hopefully many will marry in the end.

If you cannot find the right mate , no problems .You don't have to feel pressured to be married. If you are happy , stay that way.

Why modern marriage for women sucks?

During your mother’s generations , they only had to deal with child care and housework in exchange for financial security and a roof over their heads.

In this modern era, women have to work as hard or harder than a man and then still have to take care of the child and house works.

It is even worse when she has to foot the bills while the men just earn for their own keeps.Despite all her sacrifices and contributions, she gets plenty of poisonous vibes from the men and no appreciations or love or a helping hand.
That's what you get when you kiss and marry a jerk…..

Every women do want to get married and everyone of us need love and companionship.God made us that way. I am not trying to discourage marriage , maybe give some cheer to those who are still looking for their mates.

A woman is more discerning and critical when deciding a life partner.It is imbued in her system .Don't marry the first ‘jerk’ that comes along and you will regret later.

According to the New York Times , 51% of the women are living without a spouse. This percentage is sure to go higher as many women may find marriage or the men not measuring up to their expectations.

When the women were not working , they did not have very high expectations but when they entered the work force, they became over critical and had higher expectations of men.

More women are marrying later or living with unmarried partners or marriage is elusive to them. At the other end, women are living longer as widows and not remarrying.They enjoy the freedom and rediscover who they are.

Those who are married may not fare better as having a husband is just the same as being single with kids because the men are working oversea’s or out stations or in the military or in the institutions.

These are the absentee spouse. They are being married and tied down but not enjoying the fruits of a real marriage of togetherness.

Women had to work two shifts. They also work and then had to take care of the kids and and the house works .Even if the men helped them , they still have to do the major part of the jobs.They cannot trust the men from doing the job properly .

If they marry the men about their age, there is a maturity gap.Those men are inexperienced and less matured and they do not know how to treat their wives.

They have this ‘Peter Pan syndrome.’ (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Pan_syndrome ) They are forever kids and don't grow up and are narcissistic .They love themselves more than they love others. Some of them still need their mothers.

Today , women don't have to depend anymore on the men like their mother’s generations.The man’s traditional contributions in marriage becomes irrelevant as the women also take home a cheque and sometimes their cheques are bigger than the man’s. The men are not needed and becomes unwanted.

The new women has arrived but the institutions of marriage and the men are still the same.They have not changed . If they want to marry , they should not go shopping for the perfect mate.It is a rare commodity .

credit and thanks to

What is Peter Pan Syndrome?
http://www.evanbailyn.com/index.php/article/what_is_peter_pan_syndrome/

http://www.glennsacks.com/census_shows_majority.htm

Suggested readings:-

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/16/us/16census.html?ex=1326603600&en=8b61820a6c4712e5&ei=5090&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss

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Secrets Of A Happy Marriage .

Marriage is not a union merely between two creatures, it is the union between two spirits;and the intention of that bond is to perfect the nature of both, by supplementing the deficiencies with the force of contrast, giving to each sex those excellencies in which it is naturally deficient; to one , a strength of character and firmness of moral wills ; to the other ,sympathy , meekness ,tenderness…- F.W Robertson

The secrets of a true and happy marriage lies in the greatest of all human qualities , altruistic love or agape love in the Christian language.If you are not a Christian , you would not understand it's meaning . Even if you understand it , it is probably unattainable by your own powers.

It is the love which you will pour out from the bottom of your heart unselfishly without any strings or conditions attached. You give freely and not expecting anything in returns.

If you are a family man ,you would understand the depth of your love to your children.If you are unmarried or married and don't have children yet, you will not understand that kind of love.You will not feel it until you have your own children.

You would deny yourself and make great sacrifices for the benefits of your children. This is the kind of love you should accord to your spouse in order to be happily married.

You would put your spouse above your needs and wants and make her/him your top priority.You will endure pain or sufferings for the sake of the one you love ,just like when you were young and madly in love.

Your spouse will not be blind to your agape love and she will appreciate and response in kind and thus creating a positive cycle in your relationship and strengthening it

You need to pour your love into each others tumbler. When the other is full , s/he will pour back with more abundance. Kindness begets kindness and loves begets loves.

We should not be self centred and only think of ourselves or expect to receive the same amount that we have given out.You are being calculative and not doing it for love.

“I did so many things for you and you only repaid so little.” When you have such thoughts, you are being childish."

If you compare to who does the most or contributed the most in your marriage, the woman will win hands down..You cannot argue with a woman. Better to let her win most of the time.That is the super secret of a happy marriage .LOL!



credit and thanks to

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,184716,00.html

suggested readings

http://luungaeidea.blogspot.com/

Recipe for Happiness in Marriage

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/news/20050322/recipe-for-happiness-in-marriage

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Best age to get married ?

There are psychological, emotional, mental and physiological factors to consider when you think what is the best age to get married.

There are off course no right or wrong age to get married.It will have to depend on the maturity, right timing or your fate....


For a young girl to get married at 18 is too young as she has just left school and does not know what life is all about.No doubt, she maybe in her prime where her physical attributes are at the highest but her mental development is still lacking and have not reached her full potentials yet.

By 21 , she would have acquired some worldly knowledge and aware of her surroundings . Some girls would still be pursuing their higher studies and would not be able to enter the marriage market.

For those who marry at 21, it would be the best age as she can be considered matured physically and mentally . She is on the threshold of womanhood and getting prepared to play out her destined role.

For those who marry at 25 to 30 , after they have graduated from the university , they are at the peak and can be considered belated but still not too late to miss the marriage boat .

Women who marry at this age would have a less turbulent relationship with their spouse as they will marrying older and more matured men .They will also enjoy better living standards as they are more settled down in their careers.

For those who marry above 30, they are a very lucky lot . For those unmarried and still single after 30 ,they are prepared to resigned to their fate unless Cupid give them a helping hand.

The more desperate they become , the more they will not find their partners and maybe get some rotten apples. Thus better not to marry if there are no good men then to suffer a terrible marriage ending in a divorce.

Another category of men would be those widowers or divorced.If a man is still not married after 40, there is something not right with him.

Those above 30 and unmarried are so busy with their work commitments and have no time for any social life.Some become too choosy and reject most of their suitors. You want to pick your own choice , people also choose you.

If they have no choice and must remain single ,some of them may contemplate being single mothers by adopting babies or have their own.

For the men, I think the best age is around 35 because his maturity would be at it's height,and he would have made himself some nest eggs to sustain comfortably through his married life. He would also be less prone to quick anger and more appreciative of his wife.

Marrying in the 20's is more preferred over the 30's as her reproductive cycle is on the wane and she runs a higher risk of getting pregnant or having an imperfect baby.

Many want to marry but their expectations are unrealistic and idealistic and they cannot find the right one.He probably does not exist.

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A GRADUATE OR NON GRADUATE WIFE?

For a man , whether his potential wife is a graduate or not is immaterial.As long as he likes her and loves her .He would be able to support his wife whether she works or not..

There are pro's and con's .Whether you want to marry a graduate or a non graduate , it will depend on each individual's personality and taste or preferences.


Personally , I don't see any differences between those two groups of girls ,just that one has a higher paper qualifications in a certain field .It does not mean that the high school or college girl loses out .

But does that mean that the graduate would make a better wife and mother ?Does it mean that the graduate has a higher IQ?

There are no good or bad points if u marry either. There are the good, the bad and the ugly and it does not differentiates whether you are a graduate or not.

A university degree make's one sound smug but in reality there are many people who cannot make it to the university due to many reasons .So are we to condemned these girls into oblivion?

Having a degree or not is just one of the criteria's in our selection of a mate but it is not the most important criteria for most men.

Even if you are a graduate , you still have to learn mothering just like the non graduate gals. This is a different field all together.. Being natural mothers or wife is an art where you perfect them as you go along that journey.Talking from experiences..

Do you know what it is like to marry a graduate or a non graduate wife? There are good and bad in both cases so we just deal in generalities.

I feel that love is the most important ingredient in a marriage ,for love covers a multiple of sins .

When you are in love, everything is beautiful and you wont see the other's sin and faults..Without love, graduate or not , the marriage will not last..

It is erronous to think that a graduate is better than a non graduate when it comes to wife material. You need to read her personality and character.

A working graduate wife would be an advantage but there are also disadvantages.If you think the advantages outweights the disadvantages then go ahead and marry a graduate.

A graduate wife who works , may share in the finances and you don't have to carry the full financial burden of raising a home .There are drawbacks as she has little time to be a wife or mother to the kids as she has to work.

She would also be smarter and moved in the same wave length with you. This smartness or intelligence of her could also be a bane when she has an opinion of her own .

She can exert her dominance over her partner in their relationships.That's the reason why many men prefer to marry down so that the men can lord over their wive. They become too bossy and acquired those male traits and lose some of their femininity.

Many smart women pretend to be ‘dumb’ sometimes to make the men feel better .It is still a man’s world.She has to give the man some honour in the soceity .

The disadvantage is that your wife will not have much time to dote on you as she could be very caught up with her work load at the office. Having a a working wife is like having only half of her. You will be exposing her to those vultures in the office and some men can lose plenty of sleep over that.

Theory is one thing but when you married the one you chose ,then your real life begins.Then you can come back here to tell us your preferences or whether you have made the right decisions.

These days to have a non working wife is a luxury ,many cannot afford. What with  everything going up!.

Some men fall instantly in love on the 1st look and then they let their hearts do their talking.They don't think with their heads anymore.

Some men only fall in love on the 2nd look.. love creeps slowly into their hearts without them knowing.

Women don't fall into love so easily but when they do, they are like runaway trains without brakes.. Kapish!

Whether you marry a graduate or non graduate will depend on your fate or destiny or if they truly love a girl, it does not matter…..



What is your opinion?

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What love means in a marriage .

Every one has their own preconceived ideas of what love is and should be.The meaning of love is different when you are in your teens, 20's,30's, 40's and 50's.

You think love is like a perpetual romance .When he is romancing you, the love is very ecstatic, dear and pleasant.This kind of love cannot survive in a marriage.This is love without responsibilities or accountabilities.He does not have to pay through his pocket to sustain you as you are still dependent on your parents.The realities have not set in yet.

When you have married , he will changed and so will you..Marriage is not a honeymoon forever.Not like those fairy tales where they lived happily ever after.It will end someday when the grim realities and the attrictions of daily living hit you in the eye and pocket.

You are all on your own. everything that you need will have to be purchased with your very own money and no more depending on everything from your parents. Things which you taken for granted when you live with your parents.

You won't be the same starry eyed youngster and adoring gal he married. The love you shared together before and now has a different meaning.Your teeny, weeny, yellow polka dot bikini love is now more complex and matured.

You thought you were in love with him but with his changed outlook , you wondered if you have loved and married the wrong guy.The doubts always persisting in the back of your mind.Your knight in shining armour now looks pretty jaded and not hot anymore.

You would also find that you don't feel his love anymore or non existent at all. You demanded , you criticized him and your tears flowed.He just cannot bring himself or is unable to show his love for you like before.There is something missing in the relationship.

If you want him to love you again , you must checked yourself and make yourself lovable again not for today , next week but for as long as u exist. You have to changed first before he can change,telling him to change while you won't is futile.Like pouring water into sandy ground.

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IS MARRIAGE RELEVANT IN THIS AGE AND TIME ?

Why do we need to marry anyway? Is marriage redundant or still relevant in this age and time?

Why not just have test tube babies so that the race will continue to procreate and exist.?
Or women do not have the need to carry the babies for 9 months . Why not get someone ,maybe a cow or an artificial incubator  to carry the baby till it is born¦.?This could be a likely scenario in the future but I don't think I will see it in my time.


In some Western societies, many just cohabit without going through the legal process of marriage .They have children and when they do not get along with each other, they just leave without any legal complications. They is no stigma or shame anymore.

Traditionally ,we marry because we want to carry on our lineage or family name and to have the joy of raising childrens and grandchildrens.In that way we get to being fulfilled our destiny as human beings.

To grow old alone without any children of one's own is like a book with no ending.

We marry because as men we don't have certain qualities which are found in women.That is why God made Eve from Adam so that she can be her helper .A women thus compensates and compliments what a man lacks.The first prototype is always inferior... LOL!

We marry also because when we are old we have our children to fall back on or children to help us and support us till death.

When our children were young we carry them and when we are old they will carry us but not where you want to go.

Posted by Laura

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WILL YOU MARRY DOWN..?

As girls get more educated, the prospects of marrying up becomes slimmer and slimmer. 

At the moment , in many universities around the world , the female undergraduates enrollments are around 60% or more . Among the 40% males , many may want to marry a girl who is less educated than them or marry down.

As the females moved higher in the education ladder, the choices of available males become scarcer or rare. They have been brought up to marry upwards or atleast on their same levels.

Marrying below them is not an option but what other choices do they have ? They can either wait until the right man comes along or they will become wall flowers gathering dust on the shelf. Their biological clocks ticking and they may go pass their shelf expiry dates.

Females want to excel and proved that they are or can be as good as the males. Strangely, the males do not have the same drive in education as the females. It is hard to explain why the males are not inclined to go to the university or for further studies.

This is probably because the males have been treated with more privileges in their families than the females .As a result, they are not ‘achievement ‘ oriented . They lacked the drive to excel in studies.

Since the percentage of marrying upwards is slim,they have to either marry down or stay single all their life.

I think most of the girls here have been conditioned in their earlier years to looked for a man who will take care of her . I find the Malays don't have these conditions,it is their culture.

They will marry anyone as long as the man can take care of them. They have been taught not to look down on any man and their religion also play apart in them marrying down without any bias and prejudices.

Among the Christians too, there are more Christian women marrying down and together they share the expenses with a joined account.They can get along well because both love God.

There is nothing wrong with marrying down or a man who has less academic excellence or qualifications. Friends can be a thorny issue if not handled properly.

What good is a paper qualifications if he only knows how to work like a slave and face a glass ceiling.

A paper qualification does not make a man smarter but only in that specialized field.He has to learn that education and being educated about life are two different things.

Everyman has to learn from the university of life. It is a continous learning process till the very day we die.

In the real world, a man who commands respect and millions may not have a degree or diploma.

Being successful in life and having a degree are two diferent things..
A degree does not guarantee you a good life. It may give you an added advantage when you apply for jobs with those MNC.Many people don't need degrees to make their millions.
The sky is the limit..

Want to give your opinions? Please feel free to write..

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FOR LOVE OR FOR MONEY ..?

Asked any woman if she will marry for love or for money, 90% would say ,they will marry for love. 

To say that they will marry for money sounds mercenary and can reflect badly upon her as a gold digger . She marries him for the love of another kind..his money..LOL!

Woman are conditioned in their earlier years to look for a man who will take care of her for life.A life sentence for the man who married her.

A woman has many needs and her needs are far greater than a man. It is built into her system .First of all , she will have to bear children and to be the main caregiver .It is natural that she will want to have a comfortable home surroundings for her offspring. Her needs will be many and it would seemed insatiable to man.

Money alone is worthless unless it can buy you services or things. If you have plenty of money and lived in the desert,it will not bring you any advantage.

All of us have wants and needs.Our main needs are for food and shelter.If we have food and shelter , we will survive and not die.

Whereas our wants are endless but our means of getting them is limited by our abilities.We want to live a life of luxury , have everything the world can offer us. This is a materialistic world.

We have so many new inventions, gizmos and technology the world can offer us to enjoy unlike in our parents time when even if you have money , you do not have those new high tech electronic products.

Will you marry for love or for money? Everyone of us will have to decide for themselves.. No money no talk or no money no honey !

Love is the glue that holds two people together.Money , the lack of it or too much can cause frictions in a marriage.

I have seen couples who loved each other very much when they were struggling to survived and when they became well off, their marriage was strained and finally broke apart.

Being poor and loving is much better than being rich but empty..If you have no love for him, but only for his money, he will have the same thoughts .

Those on the outside ,want to get in ,while those on the inside want to get out.That is the paradox of life.

Your marriage becomes a marriage of convenience ,emptiness and meaningless.When you have alot of money , you want love, but the love you will get is just skin deep..finding real love is an elusive dream.


Posted by Laura

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