A mother looking after her six kids by herself can be a very hard,tough and unrewarding job.Her six children were fathered by four men and now she has abandoned ship and went for her son's best pal who is only 18.She has turned into a cougar.( A middle age woman who falls in love with a man half her age or could be her son's age.)
What made her to ditched her six kids for her son's best pal ?
Debbie Mallinson, 36, fled her home and moved in with toyboy Adam Caban in Falmouth, Cornwall.
The two eldest son went and lived with their relatives while the other four were put into foster care.
She left in a dramatic way by climbing out of the window and sprinting down into a waiting taxi. Was she in any danger that she has to escape in this fashion?
She left after a blazing row with her eldest son. She could have left to teach him a lesson. In the East, mothers are very strict and the children even if physically stronger than the mother would not dare to lay a hand on her.The children would obey the mother most of the time.The children may argue with their mothers but they would not be so bold as to strike their mothers.
Apparently she could not cope with the workload as she phoned the social services.
It is not easy being a single parent. We cannot judge her because she did not get any support from her ex's.
Now , she is free to do whatever she wants but I think she may have regrets . She told social services she wants the kids back eventually and wants to bring them up with her new boyfriend. I don't know if this union will last. Since she already went through with four guys,she will most probably break another record .
Probably when her new boyfriend gets a job and be able to support those kids. It will be a very big burden for such a young man who will have to give up his freedom .An 18 year's old kid may not have the maturity or experience in holding responsibilities in a marriage and he may even have to be taken care off by his parents.
If those four guys cannot last, what are this new lover's chances? He will not be able to take care of her and will have to depend on her .Perhaps ,it is just temporary insanity after all and things will go back to normal again.
There are some women who can give up their children because of their careers or ambitions. There are others who cannot carry on the burden of looking so many kids and simply give up by running away .
It sounds crazy to me but when one is under tremendous pressures and stress, one can just run away from all those difficulties.It is lucky for her to live in that country , there is the social services who will look after her kids by arranging for foster homes.
This is like a comedy and I don't know whether to laugh or to cry for that poor lady.I hope good sense will prevail in the end and that she will come to her senses before those kids reject her.
We cannot stop anyone from falling in love with us but we can control ourselves from falling in love with others.If we cannot help falling in love with anyone,then we will be like some insane person..LOL!
Reference and thanks to :-
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2473496/Mum-of-six-dumps-kids-for-sons-pal-18.html
Thursday, June 11, 2009
I can’t help who I fall in love with.”
Monday, May 25, 2009
Are you falling out of love ?
When you are just married, everything is so sweet and fragrant.It is the beginning of a new journey of hope ,great expectations and promises . You want to go out there to conquer the world , climb the highest mountain and live life to the fullest with your soul mate.
The real world is different from our imaginary world . It can be very cold , cruel and harsh and the attrictions of life can tear and wear one down. You will find that your love for him/her is not the same anymore .
Circumstance have changed and molded your new perceptions of life and your partner. Now, you see with a more matured, experience and cynical outlook.
The one whom you idolized and worshiped the ground s/he walks on does not glitter and shine anymore but appear jaded and faded.
Do you want to walk away or perform CPR, the kiss of life to revive the marriage?
Some marriages are in the ICU and fate will decide the outcome. It is difficult to rekindle or spark the fire again when it has been extinguished for a very long time.
If one is the air- conditioning and the other a deep freezer , blowing at each other,then the wall of ice that separates the two of you will grow thicker and stronger and your home will be in a perpetual winter.
If you want to save your marriage and to rekindle the love again, you will need to start a fire to thaw out that icy wall from your home. You need to care about each other more,to nurture your relationship and to love him/her again unconditionally.
To see him again through another's eye. To focus on his strength and positives. No one is perfect and do not have too high expectations of others.
Either one of you will have to change for the better to save the marriage. You cannot change others but only yourself.
If after all you have done and tried your very best and the patient cannot revive, then you will have to accept your fate and let him/her go.
If there is no more love and happiness and your union is broken down beyond repair, it is better to release each other and seek each others destiny.
Marriage is no bed of roses and you have to work at it.Marriage is a journey of a lifetime until death separates us. You need to look out for each other , help each other to fulfill their aspirations and to carry each other's burdens.
If you want love, you need to give love first. Sow more love and you will reap more love.
Related topic
http://www.theartofloveandintimacy.com/2008/10/get-back-that-loving-feeling-absolutely.html
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Winter in the home.
We all know what winter is, it is very cold and icy and you may need to wear several layers of warm clothing's and thermal under wears. Luckily I live in the tropics where it is summer all the year round.
If you are just married, then it is bright summer.Winter comes when you both morphed ,one into a fridge and the other the air-con. Both blowing strong and cold winds at each other.Could be a perfect storm in the making or a blinding blizzard or an avalanche.
Conflicts in marriages are bound to happen as you do not see eye to eye with your spouse.He has his perspective and it is different from yours,and when both don't give way,something got to break.
Your love for each other went out through the windows or through the chimney, burnt and smokey. Love died and you begin to see each others imperfections.
You love each other and want the other to be happy but the devil seems to block your good intentions and what comes out is devil woman at war with Frankenstein man. You cannot talk his language and neither does he understands your language.
It becomes like a cat and a dog fight.No one want to give way.Going for broke.You scratch him viciously and he barks and may bite you back .Perhaps his bark is worse than his bite.
If it is a long winter, one or both of you will go hibernate like the bears for six months..Do not worry, winter will soon be over.. Just wait for the summer to come again ,it will..
One of you will change your attitudes and warms the icy snows that has formed a thick wall between you two.
Both of you will be tired and had enough of each other.There is a time for everything. A time to sow and a time to reap.The suffering takes it's toll and the fire is doused.
The cycle of love and hate will turn again when you reach the bottom , the nadir of despair or the mother of all despairs in your relationship. You will realize your follies and mistakes and try to make up or agree with your other partners viewpoints. Then you will have more positive thoughts than negative thoughts and you will learn your spouse’s love language and rub his back and warm his heart.
Winter will soon be over when the sun comes up again..
If you have winter now in your home, don't despair , just ride out the storm , don't leave but burrow deeper into your home ..Chinese (Cantonese) say "Teng ngan siong or chang lok hei!"
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Married but unhappy ....
Marriage is not a bed of roses and there are many thorns to prick and make you bleed. Nobody said marriage is easy. You need to have to work on your marriage.You cannot think only of yourself but to share and compromise your ideals.If you are not careful , you will tear and destroy your marriage.
No one wants an unhappy marriage if s/he can help it. When you got married , it was the most beautiful and sweetest moments in your life.
Along the way , your beautiful matrimonial dream world was just a magical illusion and when your feet touched the ground , your God whom you put on a pedestal is only human ,made of flesh and blood.
Welcome to the real world of headaches, heartaches and body aches..LOL!
Before, he was so loving and attentive to your wants and needs.
Now, he is so unreasonable and behaved like a spoilt brat.
Suddenly the angel has disappeared ,to be replaced with some devilish and horny creature. The angel you married was a devil in disguise.
Blame it on love ,for your love for him ,made you blind….
What now my love?
If you marry a dog , you will become his bitch.
If you marry an ox, you will become his cow.
If you marry a cock , you will become his hen
If you marry the devil , you will become the she-devil or devil woman….LOL!
Not all marriages are blissful and some marriages are on the rocks. It is very sad that a marriage can fail and break up.Divorce is on the rise.
Being in an unhappy marriage is bad for your body and heart.Nothing seems to work and you begin to drift further and further apart and the chasm becomes very wide .The ice wall becomes thicker and thicker .
You argue over every little thing and can never reach a consensus on anything. You may say hurt full things to each other in the moment of anger and this poison arrows are lodged inside your heart to fester and be cancerous or gangrene .
They wont heal for 20 or 30 years,if you are a woman.You become a candidate for cancer, arthritis, type 2 diabetes, and may raise stress levels and increase the risk of heart disease or depression.
Your physical and mental health will be short circuited or gone haywire.There is no happiness but only strife and bickerings in your home. You become like cats and dogs and will bark and meow at each other.
If you really cannot be a good and happily married couple, there is no point in staying in that marriage. Your destiny together has ended.It is time to let each other go and seek your own happiness…
credit and thanks to
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,177840,00.html
Bad Marriage May Be Bad for Both Men and Women
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,169634,00.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/health/healthmain.html?in_article_id=486472&in_page_id=1774&ICO=HEALTH&ICL=TOPART
Saturday, December 13, 2008
The hypocrisy of the tongue.
It is easy to develop a critical tongue and speak profanity. On one hand we use our tongue to praise and gives blessing to God, then turn around to use our tongue to speak evil of one another.
It is no wonder that non Christians view some Christians as hypocrites.
They may say one thing and do another , preach to you about God but they do not do what they preached.
James 3:1
Dear brothers,don't be too eager to tell others their faults,
for we all make many mistakes .
The tongue is only a small part of the body, but it can wreck havoc or build somebody up.
The tongue is like a small bit in a large horse where you can control the horse where you want to go .Or it is like a small rudder in a big ship where even the winds cannot prevail ..
A great forest can be set on fire by a tiny spark. The tongue is like the flame of fire. The tongue can praise and bless or spill out curses at the same time.
How can the mouth which is like a fountain be pouring out blessed living water and at the same time pouring our bitter and putrid water.. Is there such a fountain ?You need to watch your tongue and control what you want to say to others.
What you say and what you don't say are also important. When you should say , then you must say it out aloud.. When you should not say , then you must kill it before it comes out of your mouth.
A good , correct and proper speech is saying the right things at the right time and to the right person anywhere . You should not gossip, belittling others, bragging,,manipulating,exaggerating , complaining and lying.
Before your want to say something , asked this,'Is it true, is it necessary and is it kind?' If the answer is affirmative or positive , then you can say it out.
Some people especially men ,they don't think more deeply or and got no filters in their systems of thoughts. It is like they don't have a stop valve. What they think , they will just shoot it out from their minds and then they suffer for the consequences.
It just take only a few moment to meditate on those thoughts. It is abit hard for them and they need some mind training exercise.
A few words spoken in anger can destroy a relationship that took years to build. Before you speak remember words are like flame of fire once spoken out, you can never reverse the damage they have done.
A loving words here and there can uplift another person and make the world a better and more enjoyable place to work and live.
Control your tongue to only speak forth positive thoughts , for out of the abundance from your belly will flow rivers of living water.
“If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless” (James 1:26).
Reference :-
Life Application Bible
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
The Christian marriage.
1 Peter 3:1 - 7
Wives and husbands..
This chapter deals about the biblical concept of how wives and husbands should treat each other.
3:1 Wives fit in with your husbands plans, for then if they refuse to listen when you talk to them about the Lord, they will be won by your respectful, pure behaviour. Your Godly lives will speak better to them than any words.
There are Christians who are married to non Christians. The non Christian and the children are sanctified through the Christian spouse.It is not easy to try to convince the non Christian spouse about the Lord.Don't waste your energy if he is the type that will tear everything you put up.His time is not up yet.
Rather, just show your Christian love for him.He can see the difference why a Christian behaved differently from a non Christian.Some people don't see any difference because, some people are just Christians in name sake only.
Usually , when a man becomes a Christian , he will bring the whole family along .But if it is a woman , it is usually she alone who would come to church.
Wives need not preach to their husbands about Christianity but to live an exemplary life that would please their husbands Praying for the husbands salvation and that he will become a Christian .
God asked us to go out and evangelize but not everyone has the gifts. Just leave it to God and His timing .
3:3 Don't be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on jewelry or beautiful clothes,or hair arrangements
3:4 Be beautiful inside your hearts with the lasting charm of a gentle and quiet spirit which is so precious to God.
When you become a Christian , you are transformed and you see things in a different perspective. Your changed life speaks louder and clearer than your river of words .
Peter instructed that Christian wives should develop their inner beauty rather than their outward appearance. You should not be obsessed with fashion.
This does not mean that you should completely ignore the outward appearance or unconcerned or bother to care . You need to present a neat, simple and beautiful appearance from the inner beauty that radiates from the inner you.
What is important is your attitude and spirit. Live your Christian faith quietly and consistently and your family will see the Christ in you.
3:7 You husbands must be careful of your wives, being thoughtful of their needs and honoring them as the weaker sex.. Remember you and your wife are partners in receiving God's blessings and if you don't treat her as you should ,your prayers will not get ready answers.
Husbands and wives submit to each other or ideally mutual submissions out of love for each other and for God. . Women are weak only physically and not intellectually .
Women need to be protected from physical attacks or family abuse.
A man who honours his wife will protect, respect , help and stay with her. He will not expect her to work full time outside and full time at home. He will lighten her load whenever possible, be sensitive to her needs, be courteous, considerate , insightful and tact.
If a man does not treat his wife kindly, his prayers become ineffective, because a right living relationship with God is based on a right living relationship with others.
Reference
Life Application Bible.
About Me
- Suzie1318 a.k.a Laura1318
- The road to eternity is never ending and as we travel on this journey through Earth, we should enjoy each day as it comes .It is not about who you are but what you can do to enrich others life. "To know God is love" blog was created on 29th. June 2009
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