Winter in the home.

We all know what winter is, it is very cold and icy and you may need to wear several layers of warm clothing's and thermal under wears. Luckily I live in the tropics where it is summer all the year round.

If you are just married, then it is bright summer.Winter comes when you both morphed ,one into a fridge and the other the air-con. Both blowing strong and cold winds at each other.Could be a perfect storm in the making or a blinding blizzard or an avalanche.

Conflicts in marriages are bound to happen as you do not see eye to eye with your spouse.He has his perspective and it is different from yours,and when both don't give way,something got to break.

Your love for each other went out through the windows or through the chimney, burnt and smokey. Love died and you begin to see each others imperfections.

You love each other and want the other to be happy but the devil seems to block your good intentions and what comes out is devil woman at war with Frankenstein man. You cannot talk his language and neither does he understands your language.

It becomes like a cat and a dog fight.No one want to give way.Going for broke.You scratch him viciously and he barks and may bite you back .Perhaps his bark is worse than his bite.

If it is a long winter, one or both of you will go hibernate like the bears for six months..Do not worry, winter will soon be over.. Just wait for the summer to come again ,it will..

One of you will change your attitudes and warms the icy snows that has formed a thick wall between you two.

Both of you will be tired and had enough of each other.There is a time for everything. A time to sow and a time to reap.The suffering takes it's toll and the fire is doused.

The cycle of love and hate will turn again when you reach the bottom , the nadir of despair or the mother of all despairs in your relationship. You will realize your follies and mistakes and try to make up or agree with your other partners viewpoints. Then you will have more positive thoughts than negative thoughts and you will learn your spouse’s love language and rub his back and warm his heart.

Winter will soon be over when the sun comes up again..

If you have winter now in your home, don't despair , just ride out the storm , don't leave but burrow deeper into your home ..Chinese (Cantonese) say "Teng ngan siong or chang lok hei!"