When you are just married, everything is so sweet and fragrant.It is the beginning of a new journey of hope ,great expectations and promises . You want to go out there to conquer the world , climb the highest mountain and live life to the fullest with your soul mate.
The real world is different from our imaginary world . It can be very cold , cruel and harsh and the attrictions of life can tear and wear one down. You will find that your love for him/her is not the same anymore .
Circumstance have changed and molded your new perceptions of life and your partner. Now, you see with a more matured, experience and cynical outlook.
The one whom you idolized and worshiped the ground s/he walks on does not glitter and shine anymore but appear jaded and faded.
Do you want to walk away or perform CPR, the kiss of life to revive the marriage?
Some marriages are in the ICU and fate will decide the outcome. It is difficult to rekindle or spark the fire again when it has been extinguished for a very long time.
If one is the air- conditioning and the other a deep freezer , blowing at each other,then the wall of ice that separates the two of you will grow thicker and stronger and your home will be in a perpetual winter.
If you want to save your marriage and to rekindle the love again, you will need to start a fire to thaw out that icy wall from your home. You need to care about each other more,to nurture your relationship and to love him/her again unconditionally.
To see him again through another's eye. To focus on his strength and positives. No one is perfect and do not have too high expectations of others.
Either one of you will have to change for the better to save the marriage. You cannot change others but only yourself.
If after all you have done and tried your very best and the patient cannot revive, then you will have to accept your fate and let him/her go.
If there is no more love and happiness and your union is broken down beyond repair, it is better to release each other and seek each others destiny.
Marriage is no bed of roses and you have to work at it.Marriage is a journey of a lifetime until death separates us. You need to look out for each other , help each other to fulfill their aspirations and to carry each other's burdens.
If you want love, you need to give love first. Sow more love and you will reap more love.
Related topic
http://www.theartofloveandintimacy.com/2008/10/get-back-that-loving-feeling-absolutely.html
Monday, May 25, 2009
Are you falling out of love ?
Monday, December 8, 2008
Divorce is a long, bumpy, dark and lonely road
Think very carefully before you leap.If it is a case of terminal cancer and there is no cure, then you would need to amputate and remove the cancer.
Those who contemplate this road need to think very long and hard .They must try all their very best to salvage and repair their ship from sinking.
If all your best efforts failed ,you will not feel remorseful or have any regrets because it was not entirely your fault.You did your very best but it was still not enough .
You should then take the bull by the horns and do the best you can in that situation.You will be surviving on one single salary and you will find that you will be like one salary short.You will have no one to fall back on except your own parents if they are still available and willing to help.
Friends will avoid you cause your girfriends would be scared that you might lure their husbands away since you have become available again.
If after a period of time,when both your angers have subsided and you both realized that you want to give your broken marriage another shot, you may reconcile for the good of your children.
If you have learned your lessons and mistakes and be prepared to give and take, your chances of a united family becomes greater.However, if your reasons in getting back is because of the children, it will not last.You will find that life is so hollow.
Do not expect him to help you out financially if you choose to leave of your own accord. Even if you compel him through the courts, paying your maintenance is another matter.You may win the case in court but enforcing the judgment could be a problem .
Marriage is about compromise, sacrifice and love. If it is fated, then you need to embrace it and learn to accept it and move on.
After staying together for umpteen years and you suddenly wake up to find that you don't love that stranger who sleeps besides you every night any more .
Or that you just cannot tolerate him and the mere sight of him can make you puke.After considering all the factors , you decided that it is best that you each go different ways .If both mutually agreed and met each other's terms , then the parting could be cordial and an amicable separations.
Most of the time , however ,it could just be one partner wanting out and the other not agreeing and they don't see eye to eye over all issues.This could drag on and it can cause the children to suffer because of their parents infighting.
According to the divorce laws, they need to wait for 2 years before they can institute a divorce if they mutually agreed upon.If they don't agree to a mutual divorce, after 5 years, one can get a divorce even without the other party's consent.
You can get a quick divorce on grounds of infidelity ,if you can provide the proof.There is another way, no need to waste money on lawyers and you also will get some cash from Perkim ,but it is a way of no return. You can embrace Islam in this country and your divorce becomes absolute .
At the moment, once you enter that world, you burnt your bridges and there is no way back except to live outside of this country.
The fight is usually over properties, assets and custody rights of children .They should sit down together or if they cannot settle those issues, to get a friend or mediator to help out.
One must give and take to reach a compromise.
In our parent's time, divorce is out of question .Once married will be married for life..The women even though if she is treated very badly or abused will stay on ,for she will lose everything if she left.
In the present era , the women are working and able to look after themselves economically and they do not take any crap from their partners.
It is over if they cannot get what they want or that their partners do not satisfy them enough .Parting is such sweet sorrow. If there is no love, what's the point of staying in a loveless marriage.If the parents fight everyday and there is no reconciliation ,then divorce seems to be the best options.
They will share in the custody of the children and split all their assets according to what has been agreed upon.There is no need to cry .It is all over .The children will have two parents and two homes to live and spend their life.
Children of divorced family becomes more matured at an early age.It is idealistic that children grow up in a loving environment where they can get the love from both parents.
In some countries , the divorce laws are slanted towards the women and she gets the kids and the house and 50% of his assets.Some women are serial divorcees and make their riches through this process.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
I Did’nt Plan To Fall In Love-It Just happened !
A 36 year old married women with two kids dumped her husband of 38 for a 25 year old …It just happened !.
After 15 years together, their story came to an end. The Chinese say their fate(Yuen Fun toh kei) ended there.
It is nice to be young again in spirit though the body is marching against time. Love is beautiful and I hope their love will last..
When the heart is not there, whatever you do will be pointless. My sympathies to that guy. I hope he will find someone who will love him till eternity….Someday ,I hope she will not live to regret her decision.
It is even sadder when the man must leave his house and family and make way for her new lover.It is very tragic .
This man loved his wife too much and did not want to stand in her way to happiness.He even spend a large sum of money and endured the pains going through with a tatoo of her and the two kids on his back.All to no avail. Her love for him died in her heart and the new lover was all she could think off. Poor Bloke!
Definitely after 15 years with someone, the fires of love and ardour could have cooled down or extinguished.Life became too mundane and the sparks of love no more.
A totally unselfish man. Other men would just let her leave with her lover and good riddance to her…
Why did the man not fight off his rival to keep her ?Some women need to be fought over to prove the men’s love for them.
Things just dont happen if you dont allow them to happen. You are in the driver’s seat.
Posted by Laura
Credit and thanks to:-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=486319&in_page_id=1770
About Me
- Suzie1318 a.k.a Laura1318
- The road to eternity is never ending and as we travel on this journey through Earth, we should enjoy each day as it comes .It is not about who you are but what you can do to enrich others life. "To know God is love" blog was created on 29th. June 2009
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