In this new age of sexual freedom, the notion of sexual equality have different meanings to both men and women. Many women are painfully unaware that man's sexuality is different from woman.
They grow up thinking that men should think the same way as they do . This is a grave mistake and the sooner they realize the differences, the better they will understand the men.
Men can compartmentalize sex from love and they can have sex devoid of love. They can have sex with anything without any feelings or emotions.
It is like an animal urge which they just do it for the excitements and the release of their sexual tensions due to the build up of those male hormones, testosterone.Those hormones cause them to think of sex every few minutes.
Women think of love,romance, relationships and emotional commitments as more important than sex while the men think of sex first even if they do not declare it openly.
For the men , sex is divorced from relationships and feelings.All their actions point to one direction . How soon will he get to sleep with her? Some men need sex to sustain the relationship or they will drift away. Some women would offer sex in exchange for their love and attentions . Those men often may have a variety of partners or they love to screw around with others. Why would they think of commitment to marriage when they can enjoy now?
In the past, a man needs to marry in order to have sex. Premarital sex was a sin . Today , many women are engaged in premarital and extra marital sex. Sex is easily available and the men have no inclinations to get married and shoulder the responsibilities of a married life. They can have the cake and eat it.
In the end , she sells herself short and they are separated because she is not satisfied by the non commitment of those men.The men are drinking free milk without having to pay for it.
She wants sex to be a part of the relationship but he wants sex just for the enjoyment alone without those accompaniments like affections ,cuddling, caring and verbal intimacies.
She cannot comprehends the man's sexual drives and why they do not need the same thing as women do in order to enjoy a sexual relationship.
Reference and thanks to :-
http://books.google.com/books?id=BfmuYfz57-8C&pg=PA98&lpg=PA98&dq=Men+do+not+marry+women+like+these&source=bl&ots=rS-ta1N0cd&sig=UQe8OK1B3A6u3Pq77aHupU7LhMg&hl=en&ei=L9wnSvTUC8yAkQXR3fjoDQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=2#PPA11,M1
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Women are perplexed why men act the way they do ?
Friday, June 5, 2009
Women leaving men for other women ?
A lot of women may not have those feelings nor want to talk about it.It could be due to their social and religious upbringings and the desires being suppressed or branded as sinful and against the order of nature.
In recent times, we have read about those famous female stars who openly flaunt their associations with their same sex .This new culture could be gaining popularity as those stars are the vanguard of this movement and their followers would probably ape them.What they are doing would give them their approvals and legitimacy about this kind of relationships.
Sex and the City's Cynthia Nixon left a boyfriend after a decade and a half and started dating a woman and openly talking about it.Actress Lindsay Lohan and DJ Samantha Ronson were photographed together often and did not deny the news reports about their relationship.
This alternative relationships is on the rise and gaining acceptance. There are at present five states in the USA which have legalize the same sex marriage concept and more states may follow soon. Other states do recognize such a marriage even though they have not legalize it.
The taboo is lifted and the door is now open for more women to seek their own kind.This new sexual orientation is coming out of the closet.After being with men for a long time , some of these women find women are more appealing and understanding .They seek an emotional relationship and the other women is more able to fulfill that role.
Are you a gay ?
That is not an easy question to answer. It may take years before you really can come to understand about your sexuality and when you discover the truth it will change your world.
When you finally know who you are and insisted on living to your new ways, you will find the peace and freedom in your heart but it will hurt your children and husband.
It is they who must adept to your new personality and not the other way round.
Reference and thanks to :-
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/04/23/o.women.leave.menfor.women/
http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20090306-tows-women-leaving-men?cnn=yes
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Men are incorrigible liars ....because of women ?
Men are incorrigible liars and they will lie to win favours with the women.The men need their approvals unless they want to die as a lonely old man.
When they want to get into her pants, they will tell lies to make them appear smart or important.They will flatter her with lots of insincere compliments and praises.
They will claim that they are single when they are married.They will promise to call after an exciting date but will not. They will promise anything in order to win her approvals. This is a mating game to them.
There are many unscrupulous married men on the prowl looking for some adventures with those single, innocent and trusting females. The females are a gullible lot and believe most of those things men tell them.
Why do they lie?
They are programmed by the social customs and upbringings. To get the woman's approvals, they will have to repackage themselves to appeal to those women.They want to show that they are the best among the herd and that she should select him. An inexperienced woman would not be able to discern the masquerade and would fall for him.
Men have to lie because of woman's fault .It is totally unfair to blame the men alone because women are partly responsible for their actions. For every action , there is a reaction.Women play mind games and put those men to 'test' to weed out those impostors. The men will lie and cheat with intent to get past those barriers.
Sometimes, we cannot tell the truth and have to tell a white lie.There are occasions when it is better to tell a lie than the truth. Everyday , you need to practice good social skills by not telling the truth always as it can hurt your friends or love ones .
It may also jeopardize your friendship or promotion prospects.I rather be called a liar than to lose a very good friend. Women don't admit to telling lies but only spreading half truths. They seek honesty in men but they have a different standards for themselves.
How can you tell if he is lying ?
The eye is the window to his soul. By looking at his eyes, you can sense if he is telling the truth or not. His body may deceive you but it is difficult for the eye to lie. Another way is by his gestures and mannerisms. Be observant and you will know when he lies.
Reference and thanks to :-
http://english.pravda.ru/society/sex/02-05-2007/90765-men_lie-0
Monday, May 25, 2009
If you want to win a girl's heart...
If you want to win a girl's heart, you do not have to shower her with expensive gifts, flowers or fold 100 or 1000 paper cranes or stars . If she is fond of you and is attracted to you , she does not expect any presents from you. You may give her some meaningful token gifts which is not expensive in nature .
What she likes about you is the intangible gifts that you have. Your confidence, manners, attentions, charms and the ability to make her feel good about herself.
You do not have to impress her with any expensive presents.Sending expensive gifts is a waste of money and it does not serve the purpose. If she is not into you , she is simply not into you.She is not your type of girl .Better to give it up early than to waste your time , money and efforts.
Sending her expensive gifts can show that you are trying too hard to catch her eye.
She may even be suspicious of you and your intentions. If she is not interested in you , she does not want to have anything to do with you except as platonic friends only.She may also perceived your gifts as a bribe to change her mind about you .
There are some men who think that they can sway the girls by being generous and lavishing all kinds of gifts to them.If they are good girls and have no interest in him , they will return his gifts but if they are bad ones, they will just gobbled them up and expect for more.
Today's young girls wanna have fun. They will be on a look out for those 'suai-yee's '(Cantonese term for terrapins or dumb guys)
If she accepts your gift but does not respond in kind, then you know you are up against a gold digger. You become her cabbage .She will chop a big chunk out of you if you are not wise enough to recognize her kind. When you cannot feed their habits, they will dump you and look for another.
It is only when you have won her heart and assured of her love for you , you can then invest heavily in her .It shows how much you love her and value her, for actions speak louder than words.
Related topic :-
http://divaasia.com/article/3582
Saturday, May 23, 2009
When is the right time to sleep with a woman?
When she is willing , she is hot and she is asking for it.
For that to happen, you will need to woo her , shower her with your love, affections and attentions and be at the right place and at the right time.
When she loves you more than you love her,it will be like a breeze. She will open all her doors for you to walk into her parlour.The only obstacle is yourself. Do you want to take her as your lifelong partner or will you just wanna have fun with her ?
Beware that she has her own plans and aspirations about you too.She may set a trap for you and you will be caught and then domesticated..LOL!
When do you want sex with her depends on your strong or weak religious beliefs, your moral upbringings and your personal beliefs. She may have her own sets of rules too.
If she is on the same wave length as you , then things will move faster and you will know where you stand with regards to each other. You do not have to grope in the dark about her position.
Not all things are black and white and the situations can change if you can convince her with your loves, affections and commitments.Your goal post and hers can shift in the course of your relationships.
Today's modern females are a liberated and emancipated lot and think of sex as a fun and enjoyable experience.Those living in big metropolitan cities are more liberal and open minded about sex. As long as they practice safe sex , everything goes.
They have no strings attached sex, one night stands and just meet up with some interesting guys to have a good f*ck and nothing more. They enjoy each other until somebody more interesting comes into their life.
For the normal and average couple who is in love with each other, it is better to wait until you are very sure of the love and commitment towards each other.They need to take their relationship to a higher level.When you have reached that level, your minds should think alike.It can be uncanny to see and think alike. Maybe , it is your spirit and her spirit in tune and communicating with each other.
When you are at the planning stage to get married or engaged to each other, she would feel more secure and may not have any objections to sleeping together.
There should not be any pressures on her. It should come naturally and usually when one is intoxicated with alcohol. Alcohol can loosen the inhibitions .When she is ready , she may give you hints but men being obtuse will not get to feel it and hence she will have to lead him softly down the path to the garden of Eden. She feels she has blossomed into a beautiful flower and is ripe to let him smell the sweet scents and enjoy the fragrance.
You simply cannot verbalize it between the two of you. Sex is like watching a silent movie. You have to read her body signals and to test each other if she is ready for it or not or whether you have both reached that point of no return...LOL!
Reference and thanks to ;-
http://www.kissmegoodnight.com/nice-guys/when-to-sleep-with-girl.shtml
Friday, May 22, 2009
Is having sex too early , good or bad ?
Today , you will find that the teens are engaging in sex at a very early age. The younger generations may not see eye to eye with the older generations about sex.
Perceptions have changed and more and more are doing it without any conscience about the morality or impropriety because it has become the norm in the new millennium.
People who start having sex at a younger age appear to be at greater risk of developing sexual health problems later in life.
For the men , it could be erectile dysfunction, difficulty in maintaining an erection or orgasm.
On the average, most teens have sex at around 15 to 18 .Those who had sex at 14 and below were early starters.
Those who started relatively young would have many sexual partners and run the risk of those sexually transmitted diseases (STD)
The computer age, sexual exploitations of those media and the widespread availability of porn in the internet and DVD's are the major causes in the sexual adventurism of the young.
After getting together for a few days or some on their first date,they are doing it on a regular basis without any thoughts about their future.They are too young and immature to grasp the meaning of life and cannot even support themselves financially and must still depend on their parents help.
It is only a matter of time when they get pregnant or acquired STD's and then their world will fall apart. Will they decide to keep the baby or to abort. Such a big decision can be catastrophic to the child and to the parents.
Having the baby can keep the mother off from school or delay her educational process. Choosing abortion would end a young and innocent life.Abortions can have deep psychological and mental effects to her future well being. They are caught between the rock and the deep blue sea.
Their bodies may have matured physically but mentally , they are still kids and are not aware of the consequences from a mental , emotional and psychological perspective.
Generally, most of them do not know much about STD's or conception. They may learn some from the internet or from the gutters about sex.
They learn the hard way, when they get pregnant or have those STD"s. They do not practice safe sex or are unaware of how to protect themselves from those STD's or pregnancy.
Sex may have different connotations to different people. To me , sex is the height of one's love and affections towards each other . There is the emotional and mental relationship which brings two people closer together , a deep commitment like a marriage .Today , the term 'casual sex' is very common. There are f*ck buddies or friends with benefits (FWB)
If a relationship is not on a strong footing, sex may alter the equations. Sex can destroy a great friendship because you would view your friend in another light. You cannot be mere friends or a platonic friend anymore.
It is definitely bad if they are too young to understand the real meaning why people have sex , it's purpose and the responsibilities it entails.
"If we are only friends, why do you kiss me.....?"
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Beautiful women are more likely to be unfaithful...
There is an old wise saying," Never marry a very rich man or a very beautiful woman, for they will be unfaithful." If you do not listen to those wise words, you will one day regret it.
Generally , that is true and I believed in that saying. Rich men and beautiful women are more tempted to stray because of those attributes.
Beautiful women cheat because they have the cheating hormones,oestradiol, a form of oestrogen.. LOL! These hormones would make her drop dead gorgeous !She would be the envy of many women and the object of admirations of many men.
There is another wise sayings, "The most beautiful woman is also the most toxic!"
They will not be satisfied with the current partner and will always be on the look out for a better partner. They think they are so desirable and will want to snare the best mate .
Beautiful women have very high standards and great expectations and they are not easily pleased or satisfied.Men should not look out for very beautiful women unless they are very rich and can afford their high maintenance.
Credit and thanks to :-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1114706/Revealed-Why-beautiful-women-likely-unfaithful--Marilyn-Monroe-hormone.html
Monday, December 29, 2008
The nearly weds
They are almost there but yet fate is unkind to them and their dreams are shattered .It is a devastating and cruel blow and being single again in their 30's is calamitous.
They have spent years in a long term relationship which they thought could lead to marriage and at the last minute , the man suddenly chickens out.
Their life's are turned upside down and the prospect of starting again from scratch is very daunting . They have no choice but to shoulder on and hopefully meet a better prospect in the future.
She may feel a sense of failure on her part or wonder if there is something wrong with her or that her expectations were to high which lead to the break up.
When women are in love , they are like a runaway train without brakes going down a hill.They will only stop when they lose all the steam and smashing everything in its path.
It is not all doom and gloom as even in dark clouds, there are silver linings.It would be better to break up now then to get married and divorce later .
She should consider herself lucky to discover his lack of commitments at this stage. There are some women who hooked up with some men for 10 years and nothing have changed. They are like stucked in quicksand and powerless to get out .
Being single again gives her an opportunity to find and understand herself and live the life she wants. She may decide to pour her life and soul into her career and being financial independent.
Whether you are married or single, you can still find happiness and you are a complete person and you do not need any man to make you complete. You create your own happiness.
It is better to have loved and lose than not to love at all.
Suggested readings :-
http://nz.lifestyle.yahoo.com/b/marie-claire/5601/suddenly-single-what-its-like-to-go-it-alone/
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Are you still looking for your ideal man ?
If you have found your ideal man , great! If you are still looking for your ideal one , I wish you all the best of luck.
Not all women are the same and they have different sets of values but they do have a set of common values which they want from a man.
He could be good looking but it is not very important if he has a great personality or a sense of humour. A man who understands and accepts her for who she is .He is kind and considerate.
If you have not discovered this ideal man then you only need to find the one who is your best friend and make him your partner in life. He may not be your ideal partner but he is the best you have got .
The most important criteria of an ideal man is the one who will love you unconditionally without asking anything in returns . That is the perfect love and you cannot asked for more.
When you are young, you will have a set of very high ideals for your man and it is impossible to find this man . As the years roll by , you will have to lower your expectations in order to snack any man.(The ideal list- http://allwomenstalk.com/my-idea-of-my-ideal-man/ )
The women of today are highly educated and in well paid jobs and can afford their own lifestyles. They may feel that marriage is not a necessity for now but there are times when you yearn for your own family .
When your parents are gone , you will find yourself all alone in this world . All the money and material things of this world cannot replace the feelings and the love of having a family.
For Rakovcky, a Real Man in Russia is only three things: he is good in bed, he has emotion and he has money. STOP!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Why you always hurt the one you love the most ?
This is the paradox of life. The person we love the most receive the most vile and objectionable comments from us.We reserve the worst for our spouse and will never think of doing it to our friends.
Give a moment's thought and think deeply of what we have said and how unfair it is to our spouse. Just because s/he is our most loved one,does not mean that we have a right to hurt her/his feelings.
We may not be aware because we think we are doing our spouse a big favour when we tell what is in our mind. We have the mistaken notion that we want her to improve but this is further than the truth. For what we are doing is nothing more than mentally and emotionally abusing our spouse.
I think this applies more to the men than the women.It is very sad when the men treat their wives this way.They accord their female friends better treatments and better respects than their own wife whom they loved and married.
The men are at their best when they talk with their female friends.Why can't they do the same for their wife? What goes on in a man's mind to differentiate them?
In a man's mind, his wife is his partner for life and so he must speak to her in truth and without any pretentious talk or sugar coated words.
They seldom use their brains and just fire them at will.Some could not be bothered about being civil and think that his wife should accept him as what he is..after all she has married him and can do nothing about his real behaviour.
Never giving a thought that his selfish and self conceited ways is an anathema or antithesis in the way of a good relationship.
He will not mask what he wants to say to her but will give it straight into her face ,uncensored and undiluted.Horror of horrors!He does not realize what he said can be very hurtful as he cannot feel the pain.But when the same thing is mirrored back to him, then only he realize the enormity of those words.
It hurts sometimes as she is not used to be treated this way.Other men treat her with much respect and devoid of all those criticisms or acidic comments.
Her husband would criticize her physically and be critical of everything she does and she loses her self esteemed and confidence .There are certain areas which is a no go zone for a woman ,her beauty ,sex and her performance.
It is like suddenly , he woke up from a dream and sees his wife not the same as he idolized..
Men should always think twice about how his wife would react or ponder first before they want to say anything.Women are very sensitive and they always want to know why you said that.
WHY? WHY? Tell me WHY?
Will you marry a younger man ?
In this age and time , it is not about one's age but about one's maturity and happiness quotient.If you are happy with a younger man and knows what you are getting into , what is there to prevent or obstruct you from enjoying your happiness ?
Many modern, successful and older women are having relationships with the younger men or their toyboys. These women are known as cougars in the West. The younger partners are more virile and greater looking .
Love is a many splendoured thing.When you are in love , everything is so beautiful.
It is a very passionate affair and the fire of love will consume you.You will perpetually be in a blissful state until the magic dust wears off.
There comes a time when you will have to decide to seal your love and you begin to looked deeply into his eyes and finally with one last look ,close your eyes and say I do. But before that , you wonder in the back of your mind if he is really the right one for you.
Would you accept and marry him ,if he is younger than you?
This is more of a poser for women only.Men marrying younger women is the norm.There are pro's and con's and if he has all those qualities you seek in him , there should not be a problem with his age.
You many think what happens when you are 60 or above and what will happen to him ?If you think this way about the future, you will never get married, for nobody knows what will happen in the future except God.
When you fell in love with him , you never really thought about the age difference.Initially, you could be hesitant to start a relationship but as time progresses and he has been quite persistent, you relented and got swept away by the torrents of love.
If your love for him is solid and firm, it does not matter if he is younger than you.Age is not a barrier.Some men can be more matured than others of their age.He could be ready for married life.
Women always want to look up to their men and so the men must be always stronger than them .They know they are the weaker sex and need a strong person so that they can lean upon their man when things don't work out.
This is the traditional thinking and with today's modern women earning a bigger pay cheque, they do not have to depend on the men for everything. She can call the shots .If she is not satisfied with her toyboy , she can go into the market to find another replacement.
There are some traditional women who will not marry men whom they feel are inferior to them.It would be below their dignity.
If you marry a younger and less experienced man , be prepared to teach him how to talk and how to love and treat a married woman,be prepared for heartbreaks too.Old, young or new, they still have to learn about pleasing a woman.
Theory is easy.It is difficult for a woman to tell what she wants in a marriage or what she wants from her man. Most she could do is only hint! hint !hint !
The men being so obtuse(stupid) would not get her message. The only way to get across the message to him is to say directly and bluntly to him and not to beat about the bush.Speak in plain simple English!
Just say.... I want you to....I like you to... etc..
Men are like rough diamonds or some lumps of clay before marriage and you will need to polish them into fine diamonds or mould them into a tea pot .
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Where has the romance gone ?
Remember your first thrilling and on cloud nine romance?
How you fell in love with your hunky dory ,tall, dark and handsome beau? Now that you have married and have kids and life is so boring and a drudgery .
You feel that romance is absent or has waned and you recalled those happy and sweet memories when life was so carefree and he was romancing you.You were like two happy go lucky guys without a hitch in the world.
You want to energize and spice up your love life but don't know how to go about it or are directionless ,just bobbing neither here or there and just being carried away by the ocean currents where it wants.
You crave for those close intimacies, all those sweet nothings and his attentions and affections.Those wonderful sweet , euphoric feelings or sensations of being in love.
You want to seek a fresh purpose to the meaning of your marriage life which has become so dull and drab.The fire seems to have gone out or extinguished.
Though you may not be physically as beautiful as before and he is not as handsome as he used to be , you could still have some fun and fantasies in your life.You could recharge those dormant feelings and have a blast.
If you are just in love with your partner and have no romantic love, you will sense a feelings of emptiness, for you would have missed those wonderful and fascinating romantic thoughts and feelings.
Imaginations and fantasies are what makes our life interesting and pleasurable. If you have no romantic love and still don't know if it is love,that's is even more muddled and confused.
You would have to sit by the river banks and wait till the water subsides and see the stones at the bottom of the river bed.Then you would know whether it is love or not.
Time will tell and you need to be very patient.If you don't feel it, then it is not love. How to be romantic and have those happy and sensual feelings again?
The answer is very simple and yet many don't realize it.. Just fall in love again..!
You fall out of love and you need to go back in again using another door or the same door..Maybe you got to say 'Zam Zam ala Kazam!'and the magical door of the romance world opens to you.
Go to those intimate restaurants where the ambiance is conducive to kindle romantic feelings.You could also go to those parks or beaches to picnic, just the two of you.
Make him feel exuberant, enchanted and fascinated with you again .Love will bloom a second time ,when he hold's you in his strong arms and you radiate charmingly like the most beautiful orchid or rose .
The man should not stop wooing or chasing their spouse after they have married them. For it may be the end of their chase but it is the beginning for the women....
It is like a sweet dream.Time to go and do those never ending chores . If you don't get into the driver's seat, you will be forever stuck in that timeless black hole .You need to rev up your engines and don't let life pass you by.
Perhaps you could pray to the Goggle God and asked Him to lead you back into your Heavenly kingdom.
For further readings;
http://www.canadianliving.com/relationships/love/10_simple_ways_to_put_the_romance_back_into_your_relationship.php
Good communication skills in marriage is essential.
Do not expect the men to be crystal ball readers or have telepathic abilities to read your mind. They are not X-Men and cannot fathom your inner thoughts.
It is vital that you can communicate your thoughts, feelings and desires to him and similarly understands what he is trying to tell you . This is easier said than done because men and women are not from the same world.
The man only thinks with one side of his brain and I do not know why they do not use the other side ,whereas woman thinks with both sides of her brain.
That is why she is able to multitask while he can only have a one track mind. He can only focus on one thing at a time .Anything more than that will cause a mishap. .
With this modern age , there are so many forms of communication equipments at our disposal, computer, emails, 3G phones, fax, SMS ,MSM , VMS, telephone.. etc . Yet, miscommunications , bad communications or the lack of communications is the leading cause of breakdowns in marriage.
The husband and wife misunderstood each other because they could not convey what they meant or their real intentions.
While technology has advanced by leaps and bounce, the communications between some married couples are still in the stone age.
When you get married, you begin life’s perilous journey with your partner and may God help you. That in the course of your journey , you do not encounter too many storms or the perfect storm, which can make or break your marriage asunder.
We were mostly left to our own devices and to groped in the dark alleys and learned from our own mistakes.It was like embarking on a long journey with an alien or someone whom you thought you knew very well and you made the best along the way.
It is a new journey of discovery for the both of you.The part of s/he you have never seen before.
Many of our misunderstandings stems from our lacked of a deeper knowledge and understanding of the opposite sex and the stereotyping of the other genders by the news media or society.
We were either brought up with the wrong ideas about each others sex or we formed our own wrong ideas watching from others or our own faulty and imperfect parent modal.
DAVID C. PACK said, "The role of the husband is to try to take the lead in proper communications with his wife. Many a case in a married family , it is the man that do not understand that woman do have a need to communicate with another adult . A two way traffic kind of communications."
Many men do not realize that women do have a need to talk and communicate.Some men do realize it but thinks women are being too ‘frivolous’ and sometimes bothering on the neurotic side.
The man do not see or appear to understand the perspective from the wife's side and further more, they have talked too much in the office and have no more wish or too tired to engage in any conversations with their wife. They have different expectations from each other due to their circumstances.
They wished to be left alone or in solitude. They come home from work , sit down and watched TV ,read the papers or appear to be busy with work, thereby have no opportunity to talk to their wives.
The husbands do not understand that their full time housewife has been in the house detentions with those cheeky little cute children or just facing those four empty walls and have a need to talk or chat to relief their frustrations .
Not getting the chance to chat with the husband , they will go and chat with those neighbours or any of their friends or by phone, MSM or Skype.
If a man wants to improve his marriage and make it last , he will have to give his wife some quality time .She has got needs too.
You don't have to ask her anything.She will be like those heavy laden water filled dark clouds, waiting to rain down upon your signal .
Just send one lightning signal from you and it will pour down instantly.For some, it may need alittle bit of coaxing before those constipated loads gets unleashed.
The man must also be very careful of the tones of his voice..Woman are great readers of tones,,Don't sound harsh ,loud or superior but tender , understanding and concerned.Their heart is like a mouse , easily frightened and scurry back into their nest.
The wife should encourage and opened up their husbands, use a can opener or a hammer and chisel to praised open their tongues which seems like glued to the bottom of their mouth.
Give him a light massage and he will appreciate it and will listened to you talk..He feels relaxed and will be in the mood to communicate with you.Share yourself with one another. Open up!
It is a serious mistake not to communicate in marriage. Do things together and you will find that you have more opportunities to talk and know more about each other.
However, I have seen couples fight and don't see eye to eye on many issues all the time but I don't know how they can still tolerate each other. This is more true in our father's generations.They are like kids who fight and then make up again till the next round .
If you don't communicate well, soon it will be winter and there will be an ice barrier between you two and the chasm will widened leading to silence is golden.
Your spouse may find you MIA even when you are at home and one of the partners may start to look outside of the marriage to satisfy her/his cravings..
Find some quality time where the two of you can be together undisturbed.This can perked up your marriage and make it strong..Don't bottled it up until it explodes.
Just show your care and concerned for the little things which meant a lot to her.The house is an extension of her personality . Truly , that's the way to her heart and soul.You will be speaking her language of love where she can understands.
Secrets Of A Happy Marriage .
Marriage is not a union merely between two creatures, it is the union between two spirits;and the intention of that bond is to perfect the nature of both, by supplementing the deficiencies with the force of contrast, giving to each sex those excellencies in which it is naturally deficient; to one , a strength of character and firmness of moral wills ; to the other ,sympathy , meekness ,tenderness…- F.W Robertson
The secrets of a true and happy marriage lies in the greatest of all human qualities , altruistic love or agape love in the Christian language.If you are not a Christian , you would not understand it's meaning . Even if you understand it , it is probably unattainable by your own powers.
It is the love which you will pour out from the bottom of your heart unselfishly without any strings or conditions attached. You give freely and not expecting anything in returns.
If you are a family man ,you would understand the depth of your love to your children.If you are unmarried or married and don't have children yet, you will not understand that kind of love.You will not feel it until you have your own children.
You would deny yourself and make great sacrifices for the benefits of your children. This is the kind of love you should accord to your spouse in order to be happily married.
You would put your spouse above your needs and wants and make her/him your top priority.You will endure pain or sufferings for the sake of the one you love ,just like when you were young and madly in love.
Your spouse will not be blind to your agape love and she will appreciate and response in kind and thus creating a positive cycle in your relationship and strengthening it
You need to pour your love into each others tumbler. When the other is full , s/he will pour back with more abundance. Kindness begets kindness and loves begets loves.
We should not be self centred and only think of ourselves or expect to receive the same amount that we have given out.You are being calculative and not doing it for love.
“I did so many things for you and you only repaid so little.” When you have such thoughts, you are being childish."
If you compare to who does the most or contributed the most in your marriage, the woman will win hands down..You cannot argue with a woman. Better to let her win most of the time.That is the super secret of a happy marriage .LOL!
credit and thanks to
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,184716,00.html
suggested readings
http://luungaeidea.blogspot.com/
Recipe for Happiness in Marriage
http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/news/20050322/recipe-for-happiness-in-marriage
Saturday, December 6, 2008
The Joys & The Pitfalls Of Office Romance .
The office is not just a place for work only ,it can be a fertile ground for flourishing and exciting romances or it could be a battle ground of the sexes.
It could lead you up the road to a happy and holy matrimony if handled properly or lead you down to the slippery steps of a law court on sexual harassment charges and to ruins if you handled it wrongly.
We spend most of our daily active life working and with overtime because of today’s demanding jobs and economic considerations.
The long hours and the back breaking job, coupled with the goldfish bowl environment is a ripe recipe for dangerous liaisons and secret rendezvous and where the seeds of passion and amour germinates and blooms.
It could just be the innocuous accidental hand touching , casual chit chats, e-mails to and fro ,an innocent sweet smile or look , a silent admirer or venture into the darker side of midnight ,of stolen kisses ,cheating hearts ,one night stands or rapturous sex and romantic candle light dinners.
There is no way to stop office romance because we are only human and seek love and companionship whether you are married or single.
The fine and thin red line between friendship and love can be blurred and obscured sometimes.The nature of the job and the constant presence of the opposite sex can stoke the flame of love and romance.
Some company have rules governing office romance and you should be aware of them or you could run foul of the company laws and end up in the streets.You could end up losing both your job and your love.
Beware of the pitfalls of office romance.It could be a joy to you both but will bring sadness and pain and break many other
’s hearts.
credit and thanks to
http://management.about.com/cs/people/a/OfficeRomance.htm
http://edition.cnn.com/2007/LIVING/worklife/08/29/office.romance/index.html?imw=Y&iref=mpstoryemail
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/relationship/guide.html?in_article_id=353653&in_page_id=1861
http://www.chickjunk.com/2006/12/05/quick-quide-to-office-romances/
The beginning of the end of a relationship
If you are meant to be together, nothing will break you apart.The ties that binds you together will never break.
What is yours will be yours . What is not yours will be others.If you let it go and it comes back to you , it is yours. If it did not come back , then it is others
A storm does not appear out of the blue.It will build up slowly with ominous black clouds and increased velocity in the winds. The winds may blow it away or it could formed a perfect storm.
In any relationships, there will be dark clouds and thunderstorms.A fisherman will know when to put out to sea or stay at home.Knowing how to read the weather is a skill the fisherman must acquire or his life would be in great danger.
Similarly , in a relationship there will be minor and major storms which can break or strengthened that relationship.Like the fisherman , you must be able to read the weather reports and take the appropriate actions to prevent the loss of your boat or lives.
When everything is well, your relationship will run smoothly , fluid and frictionless like a well oiled machine.
When you have love, everything will be fine.For love covers a multitude of sins.When love flew out the window , you begin to see the many faults of your partner and everything he does will be unacceptable and unforgivable.
This 'love quotient' is a strange portion and if you have it , you will be O. K .If you lose it then you can say goodbye my love!
If you start to fight over little things , it is a signal that your relationship is starting to go down hill. If you can slow the descent with some good braking, you will live to survive.
If your brakes failed , it will sped downhill and smashed against some walls or drop down into the ravine.Your small fights will lead to bigger fights and it will tear apart your relationships.
If you start to think of others more than your partner, it is another sign that you don't love or like her anymore or like her less and less.If left unchecked, you can veer off the road ,going your separate ways.
Sex is another area where you can know if he is still interested in you .Sex is like a barometer of your love unless he has some physical or psychological problems and unable to perform.If s/he appears cold and disinterested , it can mean , there is something wrong or a pothole in your relationship highway.
Lastly , one of them may speak it out and want to move out .It signals a great dissatisfaction in the relationship and one of them wants to end it .S/he has no guts to pull out and need a confirmation or agreement from the other.
Life is never easy and full of challenges. Don't ignore those warning signs. Repair or replace quickly whatever is broken down and you will have a relationship that will last forever
A stitch in time saves nine…
credit and thanks to
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_you_know_if_your_relationship_is_over
How Do You Know If A Girl/Guy Likes You Or Not ?
Some experienced people may have the ability to know whether a girl/boy is interested in them or not. Some have got a keen sixth sense, while the majority will be in sixes and sevens.
How would you know if she is interested in you or not?You will have to use your eyes to observed her mannerisms and your gut feelings to feel her out.
This is the initial stage of a relationship and both will be wondering if the other person is interested in them or not .You are neither here nor there and that is what makes the adrenalin flows.
For a man , this is the first point in selecting his target or prey. If she is in his radar and response positively to his overtures, he will decide to start the chase.The hunt begins….
You could be frank and direct by posing that question but you will not get a truthful answer from her.Perhaps ,you may get some hints from her answer or read her body language.
A woman as well as a man can be sexually attracted to each other and they can get excited .They may react differently .
A man when he is excited and really interested in a girl will be tongue tied and a timid in her presence because he feared saying the wrong things to offend her. He is overtly sensitive and cannot speak coherently ..LOL!
He is afraid that if he blurted out his feelings to her , it maybe the end of the relationship.He should not be too hasty but to enjoy the friendship first.
She is more discerning than him and will know what you are thinking before you can even blurt it out.
When a woman is interested in a man , she would be braver and talk more and sound more chirpy and excited.If she has no interest, she will just talk business and end of the conversation.She will cast many glances in your directions.
If she moves closer to you and talk to you about a foot or less from you and looks into your eyes, it is a sign she likes you .She may accidentally or intentionally touch you or hope that accidents will happen.
If she likes you ,the doors will not be locked and hard to open,it will be an automatic door. It is like going through a Japanese paper wall. Ask and you shall be given.
credit and thanks to
http://dating.lovetoknow.com/How_do_You_Know_if_Your_Girlfriend_Really_Likes_You
Suggested readings
http://www.wikihow.com/Know-if-a-Girl-Likes-You
http://www.wikihow.com/Get-a-Girl-to-Like-You
http://becomeaplayer.com/bodylanguage.htm
Thursday, December 4, 2008
The Break Up…It's all over!
When it is over , it is over ! Release him/her and let him/her go free and if s/he comes back, then s/he is yours. Otherwise s/he belongs to somebody out there.
When you are deeply in love, heartbreaks can be traumatic. In life, we will go through not once but a few times and each time , we will become stronger and more resilient.
If you are going through a period of heartbreak, you must accept the fact that life goes on .It is never the end of the world . The old must give way before the new can enter your life. Be optimistic and you will be able to weather the storms in your life.
You need to face those feelings of rejection and anger , deal with them and get over as quickly as possible. What is not yours is others for if it is yours , he will come back for you.
The most important thing is to get in touch with reality. When it is over, it is over.No regrets.You did the best and your best was not enough to prevent him from leaving or that you had to let him go because he could not fit into your life.When one door closes another door opens.
When you are suffering from a heartbreak you will find your body and mind reacting strangely and differently. It is a period when your mind is tossed about like a rudderless ship.In times like this , a friend is like a beacon and a rock .
You will experience mood swings.Apart of you still not wanting to let go or you have regrets or remorse and you may cry in your sleep.
You avoid places and people that bring up nostalgic memories. You cannot avoid thinking about what happened in the past when you go back to the same locations.
Time will heal all your pains and aches. You may not forget but in time , your heart will heal whole again and will feel less hurt about the break up and when you meet another one , your life begins a new cycle.
Suggested readings
http://lifestyle.sympatico.msn.ca/The+Aftermath+Of+Breaking+Up/Home/ContentPosting_TheSoko.aspx?isfa=1&newsitemid=thesoko-1449&feedname=THESOKO_V2&show=False&number=0&showbyline=True&subtitle=&detect=&abc=abc
Monday, December 1, 2008
TO LOVE OR TO BE LOVED..?
We all want to be loved but life is full of paradox's. We end up marrying someone we loved more than he loved us over the one that loved us more but which we loved less.
Why is it like that? It is due to our self centreness. We looked for what our heart desires. The person whom we marry personifies all our dreams and fantasies.
Many will choose the one they loved more than the one who loved them more.It is a human trait. Others may loved us more but if we don't loved them , our hearts will never be contented.
There will be emptiness and yearnings for the one you loved.
That is why ,sometimes women marry rogue husbands. They are initially attracted to their bad guy image while the good guys are too wimpy for their taste.
Who do u prefer as your mate? The one you loved more or the one who loved you more ?
If it is after your own heart, then you would choose the one you loved more even though he may loved you less than you loved him. If you loved him more, you would do everything for him even if he does not respond in kind or in the same measure you gave him. I suppose that is human nature.Women are born care givers.
You would be satisfied to win his love ,it does not matter if you don't get back the same.You would hope that later in the future ,he would respond and return you back with interests.So u become the stoker, stoking his fire and making it burn like those wild bush fires.
If the man loves you more , and you love him less, then it has no meaning .You may get more advantage with this man but your heart will not receive the satisfaction.
Most gals would prefer the man they love more than he loves you, even if they have to pay a bigger price.
Agree or not?
Posted by Laura
What women want from men ...
Are men interesting? What do you find interesting about a man or what constitute an interesting man? I suppose this question bugs women more than men.
Women do not simply look for any man but for an interesting man that appeals to their senses.An interesting man who can please them and make them feel loved , cherished and honoured.
Being handsome will win half the battle..His sex appeal would have a dramatic effect on her subsequent thoughts.She would be very impressed with the first look and if the man shows a keen interest in her , she will put on her best behaviour and may unconsciously be sending body signals to attract the man.
If he is handsome and have the gift of the gab,his mouth is as sweet as honey and heaps plenty of flatters and praises and knows exactly what she wants to hear ,this man would be considered an interesting species. This type of man is a rare commodity.
This man could be very vain or shallow and love does not last long as they will easily lose the sparkle or interest once they know u or see another prey.They could also become Casanovas to con woman .
An interesting man must first be physically attractive, handsome , suave , debonair etc.He needs to be charming, elegant,and gorgeous.Hunky, broad shoulders or good physiques..That would be a dream man .
He need to have a sense of humour,be able to converse and communicate freely and at ease without feeling the tensions or awkwardness of the situation.He needs to be a good listener as woman are great talkers.
An interesting man need to be well read and knowledgeable and have intelligence and be a good conversationalist.Knowing when to start or stop or change a conversation.Be interested in what she is saying or what she means.
She wants the man to treat her with soft velvet glove and finally (for now!), an interesting man is also one who knows how to make his female partner feel good when he is around her like not intimidating her,
allowing her to be herself, maybe `manja (spoilt her)her a little bit and not making himself feel more important then her.
Is there such a man??
Posted by Laura
About Me
- Suzie1318 a.k.a Laura1318
- The road to eternity is never ending and as we travel on this journey through Earth, we should enjoy each day as it comes .It is not about who you are but what you can do to enrich others life. "To know God is love" blog was created on 29th. June 2009
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